After consulting members of the LinkedIn-group 'llustrators seeking Writers / Writers seeking Illustrators', I got some good advise and cronstructive comment. Thank you Chris, Steve, Pbha and Karen.
Steve pointed out that the oppening line was a litlle weak, so I changed it, hopefully improved it.
And Karen … what can I say about Karen. She took the effort of editting the text for misspelling and awkward English. You will find the result here, perhaps you have to scroll a litlle.
I'm verry greathfull to them all and proud of the result.
All I need te do now, is find an editor in Sevilla [or Spain] who want's to publish this.